Contempt: The Seed That Familiarity Breeds

First, I'd like to start off by apologizing to those of you who enjoy reading my blogs for the long delay in between articles. I've been dealing with a few health issues. But today I feel well enough to sit down and share with you one of the many observations that has caused me to want to write about it.

The brother in the above video is Alvin Brown; if you listened to it you already know what he does and what his credentials are. In this four minute segment he makes several statements regarding the title of this blog that can be used as good talking points. The first of many for me was at the 1:32 mark where he says, "Sometimes when you get familiar with something or use to something you overlook the value of it." This is very true. But let us take an up close and personal look into why.

How many of you recall when you were younger and everything you got came out of your parent's pocket? You got a new pair of sneakers, mom or dad bought them. You got a new video game with cartridges, mom or dad bought it. You got the latest in fashion attire, mom or dad bought it. Whatever it was, mom, dad, or maybe granny and paw-paw bought it for you. Sure you remember. I remember, too. Now check this out; those items that were paid for came out of the pockets of someone else, due to that fact, we didn't fully appreciate those things. Some of us would leave the game console laying in the middle of the floor where anybody could step on it or trip over it and break it, and the game cartridges would be strewn about. Those new clothing items wouldn't make it anywhere close to a hanger; they could be found on your bedroom floor, or anywhere except for where they were supposed to be.

Once the newness of those sneakers wore off they were no longer important, so instead of cleaning or polishing them up to restore the new look, you simply treated them as old and unimpressive and relegated them to the pile of other stuff you no longer deemed valuable. Ahh, there's that word...valuable. Why weren't these things considered valuable anymore? I'll give you one guess. You give up? Okay, I'll tell you why; it's because you had no vested interest in them. You didn't have to sacrifice anything to get them. You didn't have to work for it, therefore it didn't matter how you treated it. After you showed it off to all of your friends and gotten all the compliments your little ego could hold, something happened. When the excitement of the thing was no longer a thing, you set it aside. When you or the thing were no longer the object of envy, you set it aside. When the shining light of the moment went from 100 watts to 40 watts, you set it aside. Why? Because you didn't cherish it to begin with. You did't appreciate the value of the thing. Nor did you appreciate the value of the person who gifted it to you.

Now, lets look at this from another angle. When you are finally in a position to do for yourself, the circumference of your understanding somehow broadens. When you have to spend your own money, value and appreciation kicks in. When you have go out and earn that money by the sweat of your own brow, value and appreciation kicks in. You take on a new attitude and begin to understand what it means to cherish something or someone. And when you cherish that noun, that person, place, or thing, you will also value it. You will value it so much that you will do whatever you deem necessary to preserve who and what it is that you value. Its funny how we don't learn this lesson until we're put in a position where we are under appreciated, THEN, we see how it feels to not be treated according to your worth.

Let us further examine this from yet another angle. As the title says, Contempt: The Seed That Familiarity Breeds. How does that happen? Well, its like Alvin Brown said, you can become so familiar with a person that you no longer recognize what drew you to them in the first place. You forget about their skills, gifts, and talents, and you begin to take your friend, family member, significant other, or spouse for granted. When that happens, your value for them depreciates. Just like driving a Mercedes off the lot, when it leaves its sale spot, it is no longer worth what it was the second you take ownership of it. But, that doesn't mean you treat it any less than what it is. Its still a Mercedes. And you still have to apply the proper maintenance to insure that it gets you where you want to go. Not to mention its outward appearance as well. This is what happens with those who are familiar with you who get so comfortable with who you are that they fail to recognize your growth. They fail to recognize how sharp you've become because you've worked on yourself.

And maybe they do recognize it but because its you there is little to no fanfare. Their level of comfort with you won't allow them to take notice that you are just as valuable today as you were when they met you. To them you are that Mercedes they've driven off the lot. But instead of treating you the way they did when they met you, they throw you into the pile of old sneakers. They leave you on the floor like the game console where you can be stepped on. They fail to put you on the hanger, like the new clothes, to insure longevity. Why? Again, because the value has worn thin and they no longer cherish you the way they did in the beginning. Just like some of us did with the items that were given to us, versus when we had to earn it for ourselves.

Let me ask you this; would you throw a Rolex into a drawer of old Timex watches because it is no longer new to you? No, its still a Rolex. And the Timex is still a watch too, you just don't value it anymore because you think the Rolex adds value to your status. See, we will throw away what we no longer consider valuable, like the Timex, in exchange for something we THINK is more more important. We forget how much we thought we HAD to have what we felt we couldn't live without and the excitement that accompanied that feeling when we first met that Timex; that PlayStation; those sneakers; and those latest fashion items. Unfortunately, we place more value upon things than we do the people in our lives. Many of us will tear someone apart over stepping on our shoes; or rubbing up against our newly washed and waxed vehicle; or even looking at us too long. But we won't exercise that same indignant attitude when it comes to protecting a person; especially one who is close to you. The expression -- you're too near me to hear me is true. Some of us become deaf to the words of wisdom from those we're close to. Some of us become blind to the lofty endeavors of those we're close to. Then one day you look up and they're gone. Why? Because they noticed how little you noticed their value and that you no longer cherish their worth.

The seed of contempt is planted by the one who has allowed familiarity to redefine the sense of value they once had toward their friend; their lover; or that family member. The contempt itself is what the receiver of the seed projects toward the other individual because of their nonchalance when it comes to the appreciation of their worth. I had to learn this as well. And I did. I learned that no matter how I came in contact with a person, place or thing, it has value. And I am obligated to not only identify its value, but to respect it and cherish it. Apparently... it, him, her, they, or them showed up for a reason. And as long as I cherish its value or their value, their worth in my book will never depreciate.

Regardless of how familiar you become with someone, always remember, they may have made it to your "old stuff " pile, but the fact that they've been close enough long enough to make it there says they're still quite valuable. And as long as they're breathing they have something valuable to offer. You just have to remember to pay attention. There's nothing wrong with new, but new doesn't know you, nor has it been around long enough to know your worth whereas old has been there through thick and thin and thick again. Like that Timex, he/she takes a licking and keeps on ticking because they know your worth. They cherish you, and they value what they cherish, no matter how old it gets.

P.S. This is dedicated to the ones I value and cherish -- first, my lovely wife. But because the English language is insufficient for me to adequately describe her worth and how valuable she is to me, I cannot do her justice using mere words. That's how much she means to me. Secondly, my sister from another mother, Ms. Sitrina L. Davis, who is also a huge supporter and a shining example of how family doesn't have to come from a biological bloodline. To say she is awesome in every sense of the word would be an insult to her worth and a gross understatement as it relates to her value to my life. I extend your flowers to you now that you may bask in their divine essence that speaks to the nature of the precious jewel that you are. Loving you isn't good enough, so I'll say this to you both; I cherish you.


By Craig D. Samuels
09/26/2018


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